I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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