I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I need moral support for this bender
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
