Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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