Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
