hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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