my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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