Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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