She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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