i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
