Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
