Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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