it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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