My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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