This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Your penis caused this!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
