I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
