Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
