he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
