1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Can I color on your dick again?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
