i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
