will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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