3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
