We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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