I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She bit a glass in half.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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