she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
