I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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