Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
