i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
