my soul wont recognize me after tonight
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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