try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
