i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Randomize
