boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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