btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
