so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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