hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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