Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I need to stop coming to work sober
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Randomize
