Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
