Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
