thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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