I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize