The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
