some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck