The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
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