Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?

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  (817): what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!? http://tfl.nu/lfzq
  Replies (9) Good night (4095) Bad night (757)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers

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  (207): I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers http://tfl.nu/79gv
  Replies (9) Good night (2894) Bad night (603)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?

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  (816): Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king? http://tfl.nu/6ro0
  Replies (17) Good night (670) Bad night (3139)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  can you blame him?

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT

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  (226): can you blame him? (519): i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT http://tfl.nu/oyzm
  Replies (46) Good night (1622) Bad night (6713)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.

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  (727): Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo. http://tfl.nu/8g98
  Replies (14) Good night (1461) Bad night (4139)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.

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  (816): Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete. http://tfl.nu/oev7
  Replies (20) Good night (4204) Bad night (1521)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma

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  (402): Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma http://tfl.nu/lc92
  Replies (24) Good night (9397) Bad night (1610)
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  (619): View more from California

  surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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  (619): surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk. http://tfl.nu/u5eo
  Replies (4) Good night (1252) Bad night (3383)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration

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  (313): Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration http://tfl.nu/0qdd
  Replies (12) Good night (2489) Bad night (1213)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...

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  (614): not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin... http://tfl.nu/5fas
  Replies (29) Good night (3057) Bad night (877)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.

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  (914): The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands. http://tfl.nu/vf34
  Replies (5) Good night (2938) Bad night (587)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.

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  (240): She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am. http://tfl.nu/ir0l
  Replies (19) Good night (846) Bad night (1329)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  "Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"

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  (417): "Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day" http://tfl.nu/txdy
  Replies (8) Good night (1810) Bad night (526)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified

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  (812): She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified http://tfl.nu/xfst
  Replies (9) Good night (1385) Bad night (775)
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  (619): View more from California

  I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever

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  (619): I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever http://tfl.nu/mt31
  Replies (5) Good night (1026) Bad night (343)

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