is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
