So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
