Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.