Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it. http://tfl.nu/7xo2
  Replies (26) Good night (521) Bad night (4345)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave" http://tfl.nu/shdd
  Replies (34) Good night (5444) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me. http://tfl.nu/hd8j
  Replies (36) Good night (725) Bad night (4217)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint http://tfl.nu/0n30
  Replies (10) Good night (1251) Bad night (4633)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes. http://tfl.nu/cn93
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (4081)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students. http://tfl.nu/2o57
  Replies (8) Good night (2794) Bad night (1304)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight.... http://tfl.nu/4lm3
  Replies (5) Good night (2182) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life http://tfl.nu/5boh
  Replies (6) Good night (2808) Bad night (1380)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina

  (386): View more from Florida

  It really is the softest mustache

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina (386): It really is the softest mustache http://tfl.nu/mbrj
  Replies (9) Good night (2330) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right. http://tfl.nu/unzg
  Replies (10) Good night (1513) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili' http://tfl.nu/81vy
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass? http://tfl.nu/n93b
  Replies (8) Good night (1104) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Why does my jaw hurt?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I may have punched you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g
  Replies (7) Good night (1688) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile. http://tfl.nu/y0n1
  Replies (4) Good night (909) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future http://tfl.nu/mos1
  Replies (4) Good night (562) Bad night (385)

Randomize