Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."