awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"