I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .