I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"