Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.