but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
