The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
