2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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