erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
