Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
