By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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