After last night, I could never be a politician.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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