So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
