Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Randomize
