Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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