I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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