The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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