her vagina looked like bernie madoff
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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