So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I am available for nakedness
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
