Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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