How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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