there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
