wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
