dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
