Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
