No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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